Chris Voss is the bestselling author of “Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.”

As a former International FBI Hostage Negotiator, Chris shares proven negotiation techniques that allow you to build trust, while advancing the sale.

His matter-of-fact wisdom about high stakes negotiation make this episode of the podcast a must listen for anyone in sales.

Noteworthy Topics from this Episode:

03:19 – You CAN learn to effectively negotiate and communicate. Any skill is learnable if you put it in the time.
07:10 – People get so focused on YES, they get complete tunnel vision.
08:33 – A situation which is hard for a lot of people to realize is there’s always a better deal to be had. There’s always a better deal no matter how smart you are.
09:10 – Let them talk. Find out what they know, find out how you can make the deal better.
10:15 – You have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately.
10:31 – Observe five times as much as you talk, not twice as much as you talk, because you know they’re going to give you visual cues. Use your eyes and instincts.
12:21 – Let them do the talking, figure out how to open them up.
12:50 – A better outcome will come from great collaboration, not a battle.
13:52 – We actually live in an abundant, positive world, but we can’t get away from our caveman reactions.
17:11 – Each word is designed to have a specific type of impact on your brain and on your emotional intelligence.
18:56 – Splitting the difference is either a trap or a circular death spiral.
19:09 – A person who offers to meet you in the middle is usually poor in judging distance.
27:41 – Empathy is the demonstration of understanding. In particular, aspects of that understanding that might be negative towards us.
28:44 – The three types of empathy. You don’t have to adopt them but to be aware of them. And if you could share that, then empathy becomes an unlimited skill.
30:54 – If they want out of the quicksand, you don’t want to jump in with them.
36:52 – People want to trust the other side. You can replace “trust” with being predictable.
36:57 – Most of us assume while this is a sales deal or this is a business transaction, it is always about money.
38:10 – How do you interpret body language? What to look for?
39:45 – Pick up what they look like when they’re being genuine.

Collaboration, not a battle.

Chris says that negotiation begins with the simple premise that humans want to be accepted and understood. Choosing to be an active listener is the simplest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there. By being active listeners, we demonstrate empathy and show a sincere desire to better understand what the other side would possibly experience.

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Chris adds when we closely observe a person’s face, gestures, and tone of voice, our brain begins to align with theirs in a process called neural resonance, and that lets us know more fully what they think and feel. Observe five times as much as you talk, not twice as much as you talk, because you know they’re going to give you visual cues. Use your eyes and instincts to observe if their body language aligns with their words.

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